Protect Yourself With Shiny Red Nothing

It’s a weird moment in history that we’re living in. The last time I went to the grocery, I couldn’t help but to think that with all of the masks being worn, it looked like the Wild West, like I was shopping  where all the horse thieves and train robbers shopped. Everyone looked like they needed to hide their faces so they weren’t recognized from theIr WANTED posters. Sounds cool when you think of it like that, right? Only problem was, these masks were not as cool as they sound. These folks didn’t look like real cowboys, they looked like posers, like that time my cousin Randy put my jock strap on his face and told everyone it was a gas mask. A real cowboy would want a badass mask to wear, not some jock strap over their nose and mouth. They’d want to want wear a dinosaur or Cthulhu on their face. Well, don’t you fret, cowpoke, Shiny Red Nothing is here for you. Follow the link to a mask of your choice, and remember, SRN does not endorse horse thieving, train robbing, cheating at poker, bounty hunting, or getting into drunken shoot-outs at brothels.

Don’t see one that sets off your six shooter? Come back again soon. New masks are added regularly!