THE CAT AND THE CAPTAIN: Kentucky Cryptid

 Currently, I’m hiding from civilization with my family, on vacation in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, where Bigfoot believers and searchers abound, so I thought I’d share this Sasquatch story with you. Several years ago Jedediah Stevenson, a comic book artist I know, pitched a series to me: Captain Bigfoot and his partner drive around in an RV, solving mysteries. I thought it sounded like fun, so I wrote the script for the inaugural issue, making the Bigfoot and his partner into biologists in search of other legendary creatures (IE. Cryptids). For no real reason other than “life happens,” my buddy never completed the art for the first issue, but for your reading enjoyment, here’s that first script.

THE CAT AND THE CAPTAIN:

KENTUCKY CRYPTID

A comic book script by Jeremiah Strickland

PAGE 1:

PANEL 1:

Birds eye view of the bustling Main St in a small Kentucky town set in the mountains. We’re going to zoom in on a diner located on the aforementioned street. The diner has a large neon sign out front that we can’t read from this distance. Two large picture windows run the width of the building, interrupted in the middle by a double door. An RV is parked close by on the street. The street itself is full of midday traffic, bicyclists, pedestrians, etc… It’s a beautiful day in the Bluegrass State.

CAPTION:

(CAPTAIN BIG-FOOT SPEAKING)

At the turn of the century, the Komodo Dragon was an Indonesian legend. 

PANEL 2:

We’re zooming in now, a little closer to the diner.

CAPTION:

The Dutch had military outposts there, see. 

CAPTION:

They curtly dismissed the rumors of a fork tongued, man-eating lizard on the beaches. 

CAPTION:

Folk tales, they thought. Superstitious nonsense.

PANEL 3:

We’re close enough to read the neon sign on the front of the diner now. It’s called “Phil’s.”

CAPTION:

But the natives didn’t dream this beast up. 

CAPTION:

Oh, no. The dragon was quite real.

CAPTION:

In 1912, a Dutch Lieutenant mailed a Komodo skin to a zoo in Java as proof.

PANEL 4:

We’re directly in front of the diner now, looking in through the picture window. There’s a bustling lunch crowd inside. We do not see CAPTAIN BIG-FOOT, CATHERINE, or their WAITRESS from this vantage point, not yet. We want the BIG-FOOT reveal to have an impact, so we’re saving it. The text now comes to the reader in word balloons instead of caption boxes. 

There are a couple of folks exiting the diner, looking distressed by the Big-foot ordering breakfast within (although the reader is unaware of this right now). They have a crying little kid in tow.

CAPTAIN BIG-FOOT:

By 1927, there were Komodo specimens in the London Zoo.

CATHERINE:

Can I have the blueberry waffles?

PANEL 5:

We’re inside the diner, at the table of CAP’N BIG and CATHERINE. We see CATHERINE and the WAITRESS. She’s trying to get this all straight. People are eating at tables around them, some of them looking at CAPTAIN BIG-FOOT with frightened or concerned looks. Wait staff and bus-boys hurry about.

WAITRESS:

(to CATHERINE)

We’re out of blueberries.

CAPTAIN BIG-FOOT:

(off-screen)

So, my point is, it’s not really a big deal; I am what I am. 

CAPTAIN BIG-FOOT:

Looking back, folks will chuckle at the thought of my people being a myth to your people.

PANEL 6:

Close up on the waitress.

WAITRESS:

So, it’s true…

PAGE 2

SPLASH PAGE: 

Dynamic shot of the waitress handing the big reveal to the readers: There’s a Big-foot wearing Clark Kent glasses at her freaking table. CAPTAIN BIG-FOOT looks bored with it, holding a menu in one hand, ambivalent. CATHERINE eyes her menu, feeling pretty damn hungry. Nosy folks at nearby tables look surprised and awed.

WAITRESS:

YOU ARE BIG-FOOT!

CAPTAIN BIG-FOOT:

Latin name, Homo Magnum Peditum. Discovered when I was a child by Dr. Leonard Marvin. 

CAPTAIN BIG-FOOT:

The only known living specimen. Thus far, I’ve managed to stay out of the zoo.

CATHERINE:

Is it too early to order lunch?

PAGE 3

PANEL 1:

CAP’N BIG and CATHERINE have their food in front of them at their table in the diner. They stuff their mouths as they chat. Catherine holds papers in her hand. A manilla file folder sits next to her plate on the table.

CATHERINE:

Okay, get this. In 1986, Derrick Herald broke both of his legs when he jumped from the infamous Holler County train bridge.

CAPTAIN:

Ouch.

CATHERINE: 

Officially, he was crossing the bridge when a train came around the mountain. It was jump or be run down.

PANEL 2:

CAP’N BIG takes the papers from CATHERINE across the table.

CAPTAIN:

She’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes… 

CAPTAIN:

So, unofficially, the Holler Lick Goat confronted Derrick on the bridge and…What? Threw him off?

CATHERINE:

Derrick’s story is that the creature tried to eat him, so he jumped… 

PANEL 3:

CAP’N reviews the dossier.

CAPTAIN:

This is crazy, even for us, Catherine. 

CAPTAIN:

Human torso and head. Aquiline nose, whatever that means. Rams’ horns. Goats’ legs. Cloven hooves… 

CATHERINE:

Captain, it sounds like something we should challenge to a fiddle duel at crossroads come midnight.

PANEL 4:

CATHERINE opens the manilla folder to look inside.

CATHERINE:

From what I found online, Derrick has been battling mental illness since before the accident.

CATHERINE:

In and out of jail; the hospital… Only person to report seeing the Holler Lick Goat since the late sixties, when there was a rash of sightings, including another with injuries.

PANEL 5:

CATHERINE holds up a photo for CAP to see.

CATHERINE:

Earl Turner, 28 years old, suffered claw marks down his back. Police said the injury was consistent with a bear attack. 

CAPTAIN:

The Goat’s not the only cryptid that Kentucky’s known for. Maybe Earl ran into Bearilla?

CATHERINE:

Or a regular old bear.

PANEL 6:

Close-up on the CAP, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

CAPTAIN:

Derrick may be copping Earl’s story…

CAT:

Maybe. Come on. Your turn to cop the wheel.

PAGE 4:

The panels on this page are all widescreen shots, like photos of a movie screen.

PANEL 1:

This panel shows the RV from above, traveling down the highway. We’re zooming again, this time on the RV.

CAPTAIN:

What’s got you so preoccupied?

CAT:

Huh?

PANEL 2:

Closer in on the RV.

CAPTAIN:

You’re off in la la land, Cat. You have been since Texas. What are you thinking about? Your Dad?

CAT:

Yeah. No. No, it’s… 

CAT:

Look, man, I’m not comfortable with this.

PANEL 3:

We’re looking in at our heroes through the front windshield. CAP’N BIG is driving. CAT is in the passenger seat, shaking an asthma inhaler.

CAPTAIN:

With what?

CAT:

This “Holler Lick Goat” quest. I’m a biologist, Captain. I study living animals. It’s one thing to look for some bird or frog that we thought had gone extinct fifty years ago, but looking for ghosts and monsters? Not what I signed up for, and not sustainable if the university isn’t seeing quantifiable results. 

CAT:

We’re off the path on this one.

PANEL 4:

CAT hits her inhaler while CAP’N BIG makes a grand gesture.

CAPTAIN:

This is Cryptozoology! Our path is off the well-beaten trail by definition. We take the myth; we seek out the biological root. I don’t expect to find a hillbilly Baphomet or the progeny of Pan living under a bridge. I do, however, believe that there may be something that even the best researcher (who sticks too closely to the trail) may have closed her mind off to. 

CAPTAIN:

Like a big-foot, yes? Perhaps a dragon! 

CAT:

Goat Boy has very little in common with the Komodo, Captain.

PANEL 5:

CAT shakes her inhaler. CAP’N BIG continues to drive.

CAPTAIN:

You’re right, of course.

CAPTAIN:

This is more like Northern California. Remember? The locals told tales of a dinosaur which had evolved into a humanoid that fed on toddlers that played too close to the woods. Turned out to be a giant salamander species. Quite quantifiable. Genus: Cryptobranchus. 

CAT:

A cousin to the the Hellbender found in this part of the world, I remember. 

CAT:

There were also numerous reports of giant salamanders to go along with the local ghost stories, Captain. I’m concerned the ghost story is the end of the story here in the holler.

PAGE 5:

PANEL 1:

The RV pulls into the driveway of a rundown mountainside house. Cars are on blocks in the yard, which hasn’t seen a mower all summer. Trash is strewn about. The house needs some work to say the least.

CAT:

I need to stop at a drug store. My inhalers about out.

CAPTAIN:

Okay. Let’s go after our chat with Mr. Herald.

PANEL 2:

CAT and CAP’N step out of the parked RV.

PANEL 3:

A shotgun wielding redneck in a trucker cap and a dirty white undershirt steps out onto the porch of the house.

DERRICK:

That’s far enough!

PANEL 4:

Our heroes are shocked! They stand with their hands up.

CAT:

Mr. Herald, I’m Dr Catherine M —

DERRICK:

(interrupting from off screen)

I know who you are!

PANEL 5:

Derrick points his shotgun at CAP and CAT.

DERRICK:

When you called, you didn’t tell me you were bringing no sasquatch monster to my house. Far as I know, this one here’s in league with the Goat. They probably meet around some big table in Transylvania every year with Dracula and your mummy to orchestrate my alien abduction or some such thing. 

DERRICK:

Ain’t that what you came to hear me say?

DERRICK:

Get off my property!

DERRICK:

Both of you!

PANEL 6: 

CAT and CAP’N still hold their hands high. CAP looks to DERRICK. CAT looks at the CAPTAIN.

CAT:

I feel like I should be saying, “I freaking told you so.”

CAPTAIN:

I’m a human, just a different kind than you; a scientist, Derrick. We only want to talk to you.

PAGE 6:

PANEL 1:

In the background, DERRICK points his gun in the air. In the foreground, our heroes keep their hands up.

DERRICK:

I ain’t no dumb redneck. I know exactly why y’all are here. I got another call after yours, girl.

CAPTAIN:

Let me guess: From Dr Marvin?

CAT:

Oh, for the love of…

PANEL 2:

Close in on DERRICK.

DERRICK:

That’s right. He told me ya’ll’s a couple of sensationalist types, looking to profit off folks like me. Well, I ain’t no joke, and I ain’t for sale neither!

PANEL 3:

Close in on CAT:

CAT:

Dr. Marvin is trying to undermine us, Derrick. We only want to validate your story.

PANEL 4:

Close in on CAP’N.

CAPTAIN:

Whatever he told you, he’s playing you against us to keep your story in the dark. He doesn’t care about you, he cares about keeping the university from funding the embarrassment of cryptozoology research for another year.

PANEL 5:

DERRICK points his gun again.

DERRICK:

You talk real fancy for a yeti. Almost be a shame to mount your head on my wall.

PANEL 6:

CAT and CAP’N get back in the RV.

CAT:

Now what?

PAGE 7:

PANEL 1:

The RV pulls into the driveway of a nice red brick house with flowering trees in the yard.

CAPTION:

(CAP’N BIG ANSWERS CAT’S QUESTION)

“Let’s see if Earl Turner is willing to chat with us unarmed.”

CAT:

He lives here with his daughter.

PANEL 2:

CAP’N BIG knocks on the front door. CAT hits her inhaler.

CAPTAIN:

His daughter is his caregiver?

CAT:

Other way around.

PANEL 3: 

EARL TURNER opens the door with a smile.

EARL:

Welcome!

CAT:

Thanks for seeing us on such short notice, Mr. Turner.

EARL:

Earl. Please, come in.

PANEL 4:

The three of them enter the living room. EARL looks to the CAP’N.

EARL:

You know, I read Dr Marvin’s book a year or two ago, but it’s quite a shock to see you in person.

CAPTAIN:

Not every day that you invite Bigfoot into your home, eh?

CAT:

No worries, Earl, he rarely bites.

PANEL 5:

They take their seats. CAP’N BIG occupies most of EARL’s couch.

CAT:

You have a lovely home.

EARL:

Thank you, miss.

PANEL 6:

EARL’S DAUGHTER, MISSY, enters the room. She wears a scarf to cover her baldness.

EARL:

This is Missy’s home. I’ve been here with her for about a month now.

MISSY:

Can I get ya’ll some coffee?

CAPTAIN:

Black, thank you, Missy.

CAT:

No, thank you. I’m not much of a coffee drinker.

PAGE 8:

PANEL 1: 

CAT gets right to business.

CAT:

We’re hoping you could tell us about your encounter with the Holler Lick Goat.

EARL:

You’re looking to find him, I take it.

CAPTAIN:

That’s what we do.

PANEL 2:

Close in on Earl as he gets introspective.

EARL:

Round here, people think I’m a crazy old man. 

EARL:

I’m not. I know what I saw. I can still smell it, like an unkempt butcher’s shop.

EARL:

In the fall of 1972, I was working for the railroad. I was alone, doing a routine inspection of the bridge late one afternoon, when I heard it, snorting and galloping at me like Old Scratch himself!

PANEL 3:

MISSY delivers coffee to her Dad and the CAP’N.

EARL:

Now, when it comes down to fight or flight, I’ve always been more inclined to take a swing, so that’s what I did.

CAPTAIN:

You’re a brave man.

EARL:

I was a stupid, cocky, fool. Cursed creature nearly killed me!

PANEL 4:

EARL stands up with his back to our heroes, lifting his shirt to reveal the scars on his back.

EARL:

Took some chunks out of me for sure. Knocked me clean off the bridge. Lucky for me, the river was deep.

CAT:

Why do you think it attacked you?

EARL:

It’s territorial.

PANEL 5:

EARL sits back down.

EARL:

Folks whisper that it’s a demon. 

EARL:

Myself, I believe it’s old man Ezekiel. The story has it that he sacrificed a goat to the devil after years of hard times on his farm. Traded his soul for success, yielding Kentucky’s finest tobacco while his competition worked thirsty ground. Now he’s doomed to spend eternity a monster, guarding the barren field where his farm once prospered.

PANEL 6:

CAT finds his tale dubious.

CAT:

You don’t really believe that, do you?

EARL:

If science had all the answers, young lady, my Missy would have been given more than a few short months to live the rest of her life, wouldn’t she?

PAGE 9:

PANEL 1:

Wide shot of the infamous train bridge, supposed lair of the Holler Lick Goat. Our heroes are under it, poking around, too far away to be seen from this vantage point.

CAPTAIN:

See anything?

CAT:

Deer poop. Deer tracks. Coyote tracks. More deer poop. 

PANEL 2:

CAT pokes at a pile on the ground with a stick while CAP’N BIG drinks a handful of water from the river.

CAT:

What are we doing here, Captain? This is ridiculous.

CAPTAIN:

Can you imagine falling from up there? Those jokers are lucky to be alive.

PANEL 3:

CAT is exasperated.

CAT:

We are lucky to be alive! 

CAT:

If you would have bothered doing some research for yourself, you’d know that Derrick’s a marine and a war veteran. He knows how to use that gun. 

PANEL 4:

CAP’N BIG stands up and yawns.

CAPTAIN:

Take it easy, Catherine. We’re having an adventure. No one I’d rather be have one with than you. 

CAT:

Don’t get any ideas, Captain, you’re not my type. Wrong species.

PANEL 5:

Close in on CAP’N BIG. He’s smiling.

CAPTAIN:

Come on, heartbreaker. I want to check out the bridge.

PANEL 6:

Our heroes are hiking up the hill to the top of the bridge.

PAGE 10:

PANEL 1:

CAP’N BIG and CAT stand on the middle of the train bridge. She looks off into the distance with her hands on her hips. He is taking a knee, reaching for something.

CAPTAIN:

Hey, look here!

PANEL 2:

CAP’N BIG holds up a tuft of hair for CATHERINE to see.

CAT:

What is it?

CAPTAIN:

Goat hair!

PANEL 3:

Cat crosses her arms defiantly.

CAT:

Big deal. We’re surrounded by farms. How many goats wander up—

SOUND EFFECT:

(interrupting CAT)

HHHRRROOONNNKKK!!!

PANEL 4:

Our heroes are astounded to realize a train is coming around the mountain!

PANEL 5:

CAP’N BIG swoops up CAT and begins to run.

PANEL 6:

The train is closing in on them, they’re not going to make it to the other side safely

PAGE 10:

SPLASH PAGE:

They jump off the bridge just as the train rushes past!

SOUND EFFECT:

HHHRRROOONNNKKK!!!

PAGE 11:

PANEL 1:

Splash! Our heroes hit the river.

PANEL 2: 

Our moment of anxiety. Are they okay? We’re not seeing them, and the water’s not stirring.

PANEL 3: 

CAPTAIN BIG- FOOT emerges from the water with CATHERINE in his arms!

PANEL 4:

CAP’N BIG gently places her on the shore.

PANEL 5: 

CATHERINE is having an asthma attack!

CAT:

Hhhh-huh.. Hhhh-huh…

CAPTAIN:

Don’t panic. Where’s your inhaler, Cat?

PANEL 6:

DERRICK HERALD steps into frame, loading his shotgun.

DERRICK:

I told y’all to get.

PAGE 12:

PANEL 1:

Stunned and angry by DERRICK’S sudden appearance, CAP’N BIG turns his gaze upon the redneck.

CAPTAIN:

GGGRRROOOWWWLLL!!!!

PANEL 2:

CATHERINE fights for air as CAP’N BIG stands up to face the shotgun wielding DERRICK as he approaches.

DERRICK:

Ya’ll is idiots for coming here.

CAPTAIN:

She’s having an asthma attack, Derrick.

PANEL 3:

The CAPTAIN pleads, but DERRICK isn’t listening. CATHERINE writhes on the banks of the river.

DERRICK:

(ignoring CAP’N BIG)

I ain’t going to be afraid no more! If I can stand up to you, I can stand up to the goat!

CAPTAIN:

Listen to me, moron, we have to get her inhaler NOW!

PANEL 4:

DERRICK lowers his gun, confused, slowly realizing what’s going on. CAP’N BIG looks as if he’s ready to pounce on him.

DERRICK:

Wait, is she okay?

PANEL 5:

CAP’N BIG is looking over DERRICK’S shoulder at something in the background. His eyes are wide, his mouth is open, and his shoulders have gone limp. DERRICK is starting to turn his head.

CAPTAIN:

My --

DERRICK:

What do you --

PANEL 6:

It’s the Holler Lick Goat, looking exactly as described earlier: “Human torso and head. Aquiline nose, whatever that means. Rams’ horns. Goats’ legs. Cloven hooves…”

PAGE 13:

SPLASH PAGE:

DERRICK and the HOLLER LICK GOAT charge each other, DERRICK firing his shotgun. CAP’N BIG scoops up CATHERINE into his arms, beginning to run.

PAGE 14:

PANEL 1: 

CAP’N BIG is running with CATHERINE in his arms. Behind him, the HOLLER LICK GOAT seems to have bested DERRICK.

PANEL 2: 

Close in on CATHERINE. Her lips are turning blue. There’s a tear in her eye.

PANEL 3:

They reach the RV. 

PANEL 4:

CAP’N BIG retrieves his giant cup of coffee from the dash cup holder and CATHERINE’S purse from her seat.

PANEL 5: 

CAP’N BIG helps CATHERINE sit up and puts the coffee cup to her lips.

CAPTAIN:

Take a sip. Try to relax. There may not be enough theophyline in this to do the job of an inhaler, but it’s better than nothing. 

PANEL 6:

CAP’N BIG holds a cell phone in one hand and CATHERINE’S purse in the other. He’s obviously using her cell phone.

CAPTAIN:

911? I have an emergency.

PAGE 15:

PANEL 1:

In CATHERINE’S hospital room, CAPTAIN BIG-FOOT sits next to her bed.

CAPTAIN:

Your Dad will be here any minute now.

CATHERINE:

You had to call him? I thought we were friends.

CAPTAIN:

I’d sneak you out before he arrives, but I think people would notice after all the trouble I had getting in here in the first place.

PANEL 2:

CATHERINE’S FATHER bursts into the room.

FATHER:

Baby! 

FATHER:

My girl! 

PANEL 3:

CAT’s FATHER embraces her in the hospital bed.

CAT:

I’m okay, daddy. They just kept me overnight to stabilize me. You didn’t have to come.

PANEL 4:

CATHERINE’S FATHER stands up and casts an evil eye at CAP’N BIG.

FATHER:

Obviously, he can’t be trusted to watch after you.

PANEL 5:

Close up on CAP’N BIG’s weary expression.

CAPTAIN:

Hello, Dr Marvin. 

CAPTAIN:

I’m glad to see you too. 

PANEL 6:

Outraged, DR MARVIN points his finger in CAP’N BIG’S face.

DR MARVIN:

It’s bad enough that you had dragged my daughter out into the muck of your pseudoscientific nonsense. Now you’ve gone too far!

DR MARVIN:

I’m meeting with the University tomorrow to put an end to this!

PAGE 16:

PANEL 1:

CATHERINE reaches for her father.

CAT:

Daddy, get a hold of yourself. I’m an adult; I’m doing what I want to do...

PANEL 2:

Softer, but still angry, DR MARVIN faces his daughter in the hospital bed while motioning to CAP’N BIG.

DR MARVIN:

I know it was exciting to discover the Captain, Cat, I was there. And I know how exciting it was to watch him learn and grow like a human boy; to form a relationship with him.

CAT:

He’s a good man, daddy.

PANEL 3:

Super angry again, DR MARVIN turns dramatically toward CAP’N BIG.

DR MARVIN:

HE IS NEITHER MAN NOR SCIENTIST!

PANEL 4:

CAP’N BIG holds up his hands defensively.

CAPTAIN:

Take it easy, Leonard. It was an accident. She’s okay.

PANEL 5:

A NURSE comes rushing in to quiet the scene.

NURSE:

Sir, that behavior is inappropriate. Out or I’m calling security!

PANEL 6:

DR MARVIN heads toward the door, looking back for his final words.

CAT:

Daddy, wait…

DR MARVIN:

I’m sorry, Catherine. Because I love you, I will do everything I can to get you out from under the shadow of this beast.

PAGE 17:

PANEL 1:

We see the hospital from above. We’re going to zoom in on the parking lot, where CAP’N BIG and CATHERINE are heading to the RV.

CAT:

Well, what did they say?

CAPTAIN:

That our giant salamander discovery was enough to keep us funded. For now…

PANEL 2:

Closer in, heading towards the parking lot.

CAT:

Too bad we didn’t collect a skin to send to the zoo. 

CAT: 

Dad won’t give up, you know.

CAPTAIN:

I know.

PANEL 3: 

Closer. We see our heroes approaching the RV.

CAT: 

What happened to Derrick?

CAPTAIN:

He’s disappeared. I filed a report at the police station. Can you imagine? A seven foot tall big-foot reporting that the Holler Lick Goat may have killed the local nut? 

PANEL 4:

They climb into the RV. CAP’N BIG is driving again.

CAT:

So, what now?

CAPTAIN:

The American Cryptid Blog is reporting a sighting of Devil Monkeys in Tennessee… 

CAT:

I thought that was a New Mexican phenomenon. 

PANEL 5:

The CAPTAIN starts up the RV. CAT shakes her inhaler.

CAPTAIN:

Traditionally. They must be on the move.

CAT:

Well, then, Captain Big-Foot…

PANEL 6:

From above, we watch the RV drive away.

CAT:

(from inside)

So shall we be.

PAGE 19:

PANEL 1:

Night is falling at the train bridge. Two boys climb up the hill from the river much as we saw CAT & CAP do earlier. We see them in silhouette.

BOY 1:

This is stupid, Tommy.

BOY 2:

My uncle says we’ll see him.

PANEL 2:

The two boys have found their way to the top of the bridge. They’re around eleven or twelve.

BOY 1:

Your uncle’s a drunk who lives in your Grandma’s basement. Probably has a tin-foil hat so Obama can’t read his thoughts.

TOMMY:

At least he doesn’t draw pictures of Jenny Murray’s boobs during English.

PANEL 3:

TOMMY finds a flyer on the tracks.

BOY 1:

I’m an artist. Artists draw boobs.

TOMMY:

Look at this, Bill.

PANEL 4:

TOMMY has picked the flyer up and reads it to BILL.

TOMMY:

(reading)

“Come one, come all, to the Lazarus Colloredo Family Circus. Elephants, Clowns, and the Fabulous Flying Gray Sons of Ward! One week engagement this August.”

BILL:

Cool! When is it?

TOMMY:

1936.

PANEL 5:

We’re moving down the tracks away from the boys.

BILL:

That’s weird.

TOMMY:

It says they had “Mischevious Medical Marvels.” What’s that mean?

PANEL 6:

We’re even further back from the boys on the tracks. The silhouette of the Holler Lick Goat is in the foreground. It holds a femur in its hand. The boys are some distance in the background.

BILL:

I don’t know. Let me have it!

TOMMY:

Over my stinking, rotting, putrid corpse, I will!

END.